title of this is just a question going over and over in my head. something is bothering me. but... that's not what i was gonna say.


i haven't posted anything in a while. just wanted to make an update. i'm leavin to go to band camp tomorrow. that's something exciting. and i finally posted my new stuff i've been meaning to scan in for a while.

but..... life is getting harder. i'm in the point in time where you're in the endless cycle of 'need money to get a car but don't have the money so need a job, but need a car to get to a job to get money' kinda thing. and we need to take drivers ed. before i can drive. and that's about $400. so yeah. my parents being seperated don't have too much money. and i'm hoping something happens and i can get it or i'm gonna have to somehow find a job they can drive me to. which is gonna have to have certain hours.

so yeah. i'm gonna have to find a way to make money. i hate money. i'm very careful with my money, but with other things going on it goes away as fast as i get it. buying presents for family for birthdays and hollidays. i only get a hundred $ for my birthday. that only goes so far. so yeah. i probably won't be able to drive for a while.
but.... that's just my rant there.

and then there's the michael jackson stuff. i never really paid attention to the guy until he was dead. wow. that sounds bad. but it's true. and after watching all of the shows on him, i realize he was a pretty cool guy. master of music videos and amazing entertainer. went a little weird after the pepsi commercial incident. but was an overall cool guy. and... i think he had a childlike mind to him. and i don't think all he was acused of really happened. and they made too big of a deal about the "Blanket" incident. so yeah. i have a little more respect for the guy. i hope he made it to heaven.

so yeah. a few updates on my .... thoughts i guess. i'm glad i have my own computer in my room now. thanks to mom who found this one at her work. really new too. hp and all. so yeah. haha.

as i said just a random update. if you read through it all.... good for you. you have dedication to read all that stuff that you probably don't even care about. anyway, have a good week. or life. but that sounds weird. so i'll stick with week. haha. okay.